Dad demands $40k of 19-year-old's inheritance and savings after abandoning him as a child: 'I haven't lived with my father in 5 years'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Mar 4, 2025 12:00 PM EST

It's hard to take anything anyone says at face value anymore. There are so many scams and schemes out there that you'd do best to be constantly wary of every email, every phone call.  Even with family requests for assistance, they are met with hearty skepticism, especially given that you know their tendencies and history of overspending on frivolous, pointless purchases. But it's exhausting having to constantly second-guess whether an interaction is taking place out of a genuine need or interest or whether this person is just another grifter or con artist running an angle on you. It can really drive you mad if you let it.

Facade of Instagram influencers and TikTok/YouTube "celebrities" blatantly lying in order to sell and market a product. "Go fund me" campaigns and the like being pushed on social media by Facebook "friends" who you know from past dealings have a streak for dishonesty and taking advantage, which leave you wondering whether or not their request or "need" is genuine or whether bad things do actually just happen to bad people—both of which can be true.

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  • Even like with that one friend you have who is always talking about how they have no money to go out for a drink and is constantly letting you pay for them, eating your food at home, and helping themselves to drinks from your fridge whenever they're over. Then down the road you come to find that they were actually sitting on a solid chunk of savings, whereas you had never even bothered to open a savings account because it just wasn't possible at that point in your life.

    So when your dad, who abandoned you when you were younger, comes back looking for you to “donate” your life savings and the inheritance that you got from his parents when they excluded him from their will, would you take that as an honest request? Or would you treat this deadbeat as you would any other stranger asking you for a handout with a questionable sob story?

  • 01
    "He reached out to me a couple of months ago and asked me to give him money from my inheritance ($40k) to pay for treatment for one of his step-kids..."
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    "AITA for not giving my father money from my inheritance to pay for treatment for his stepkid?"

    The deal is this. I (19m) got an inheritance from my paternal grandparents two years ago. They left it in a trust for me that safeguarded it from everyone who might want to use it for their own purposes. This includes my father/their son. I got access to the money when I turned 19 (a choice my grandparents made). I was the primary beneficiary and they left my father the lowest amount they could that would also prevent him from contesting their will.
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  • 03
    I haven't lived with my father in 5 years. When he met his wife he gave me two choices. Either agree to treat them all as family from day one and embrace her two kids, who were really young when they met, and accept she'll be the mom in the house and it makes her my mom too or I can get the f out of his house and stop sponging off him. I chose to live with my maternal grandparents.
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  • 04
    My mom did when I was 6 for those who'll ask. My parents weren't together and mom was my primary caregiver but my father had visitation weekends with me before mom di d and then I lived with him. I think he blamed me for being born and resented my existence. He sure acted like that anyway.
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  • 05
    So I never interacted with his precious little family. I don't know his wife or her kids. I don't care about them and don't feel any sense of obligation to pretend they're my family.
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  • 06
    Which is why I said no when he reached out to me a couple of months ago and asked me to give him. money from my inheritance (40k) to pay for treatment for one of his stepkids. He sent me a bunch of links about the condition and the treatment which was I think in Switzerland or maybe Germany. He said the kid was getting worse and they were worried about it becoming fatal. Apparently this is a condition the kid always had but gets worse and doesn't have many treatment options yet. But they
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  • 07
    have this one which is something. Honestly I thought I'd blocked him on my socials so the DM was a surprise. I said no and I blocked him and carried on. But then he texted me and I wondered how he got my number since I changed mine after I moved in with my grandparents. But he had my paternal grandparents phones and he found my number on them. I told him to stop and he wasn't getting the money. He sent me some more info via texts and even shared their fundraising with me which wasn't getting muc
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  • 08
    I blocked the number and blocked the other texts that came through. I guess after enough silence he decided to bring others in and he sent my uncle after me. My uncle wanted to know why I said no and whether I'd considered using the money to make him pay for his treatment of me by making him legally obligated to pay me back with interest. I said no. I said I didn't want to help them and I wasn't giving any of my money. My uncle said I could help a kid, maybe save their life and that should be co
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  • 09
    But I guess it made me think a bit. I don't feel guilty. Just reflective. Because I could give the 40k and I'm choosing not to. H || think one of his texts increased how much he wanted me to give but I could afford it anyway and I'm just saying no. AITA?
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  • 10

    "I blocked the number and blocked the other texts that came through. I guess after enough silence he decided to bring others in and he sent my uncle after me."

    DOB 100 SERVES KEL WHYTION ASHATI NO BITEY STATES OF AMERICA SKRALS (P B SHYTION aana NO LDD BRIKY SHYTION AKHACTENO UNITED STATES 883 D 00 LL 34795266 NA ED DO OFAMERI 7314 OFAMER 100 100
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 11
    skyy_moon 9h ago NTA. Your father abandoned you for his new family, and now he only cares because he needs money. You owe him nothing - especially not your inheritance, which was protected for a reason. Kindness is a choice, not an obligation. He burned the bridge, not you
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  • 12
    gastropod43 . 9h ago NTA How much has the uncle donated? At your age, 40k can provide an investment in education or business that can jumpstart a better life.
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  • 13
    Leather-Hand-4947 9h ago • Your father abandoned you for someone else's kids. H.I no. NTA.
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  • 14
    Ok_Play2364 · 9h ago I honestly doubt there is a life saving medical treatment for ANYTHING that only costs $40k. Especially if it is a new treatment. Sounds like your dad is just trying to get money from you
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  • 15
    MorticianMolly • 9h ago No is a complete answer. Open your wallet once for them and they won't stop asking. Next thing they'll be wanting money to take a little vacation after the treatment. The other kid needs braces. It'll never end, entitled people keep trying.
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  • 16
    rosebudny 8h ago NTA. Your paternal grandparents - your father's own parents - chose to leave the money to YOU, not their son or his stepchildren. Likely for a reason.
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  • 17
    Impossible-Assist433 8h ago • NTA. Would any of them give 40k to a random stranger? The kid is literally a stranger to you. Even if you were related you have no obligation to pay for anyone's kid to have an operation. Yes it's a sad and unfortunate situation but it's not your responsibility. If you didn't have money then who else would they be expecting to pay? Also in all the info they sent does any of it have actual genuine proof because it could just be a plot to get money from you. Even if i
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  • 18
    secretcream360 9h ago • Tell him to f off and stop trying to sponge off you!!! If he keeps up the texts, start calling him SpongeBob!
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  • 19
    The_bear2017 • 9h ago Nta you are 19. That's still so young and they are playing on that and guilting you with "he may di " next person that comes to you saying you need to give something ask what they have given.
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  • 20
    PrairieGrrl5263 • 8h ago NTA. Have your lawyer send him a cease-and-desist letter.
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  • 21
    RWAdvice · 9h ago • NTAH You have no obligation give away your money to a father who abandoned you for a kid you don't know. Also, I am assuming you are American. I can't think of any condition this child could have that can't be treated in the US. They also wont refuse care if you can't pay. You'll have a bill that follows you for life, but they won't refuse treatment especially when it's a child. Your father is either lying about the child being sick, or lying about how sick they are. This is
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  • 22
    Agoraphobe961 • 8h ago NTA. They can talk to their care team about resources and their embassy if they are looking at an out of the country program. Given what you said about there being only one treatment is a little concerning as not every treatment works for every patient. Chronic medical conditions with little treatments often become money pits as there's not a magic pill that makes the condition go away.
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  • 23
    There's relapse, side effects, and failure rates on nearly every kind of treatment for any condition. It's $40k this time, and when it doesn't work or it's not enough, guess who they're going to bug again for another try?
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  • 24
    • GaspingGuppy 8h ago At this point I'd get a no contact order, it's harassment. Make it very clear you are DONE.
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  • 25
    • Gangbang50 9h ago NTA you need that money because you know well your father's not going to be there to take care of you.
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  • 26
    • Onlymy... 8h ago Edited 8h ago . NTA. This is exactly the reason why your inheritance was put in a Trust in the first place. Remember your Dad wanted nothing to do with you at least until Karma came and bit him on the backside....
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  • 27
    lisalef 8h ago • NTA. He's not entitled to anything from you. It's rich that this is from your paternal grandparents who left him. nothing. I wonder why. Sounds a bit like this was guilt money because they knew he's a bad egg. He decided you weren't part of his family so he can work it out with his new family. I bet he hasn't even paid any child support for you for the years you lived with your grandparents. As for the flying monkeys, I'd ask them where they were when your father kicked you out
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  • 28
    Artemis-Phoenix 9h ago Nta he is their parent he should have figured this out or had a plan and even not he would do nothing for you. He can't even stand when you don't see his wife as your mom.
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  • 29
    Right_Cucumber5775 9h ago • NTA. Tell your uncle if he is so worried, he should loan the money. Or you could decide to chip in a little.
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family dynamics teens family drama aita AITAH kids teenagers blended family siblings stepchild family feud parenting Bad Dad dad family reddit thread parent raising kids Parenting Fail parents children
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